Wow!!! Check it out! It's unbelievable! I just watched my money fly right out of my hands!!! RIGHT INTO THE TRASH!!!!
I saw the commercial for this on TV months ago, and have been scouring stores everywhere looking for it ever since. I knew it wouldn't be "as 3D" as they made it out to be, and I was expecting that. But what I wasn't expecting was for it to be a complete utter disappointment, waste of money, piece of shit toy. Found it at Toys R Us, and that's where I'll be taking it BACK to this weekend. Biggest waste of $10 ever, and I bought the cheaper of the 2 available. So lemme explain how it's "supposed" to work:
So included in all the colorful packaging is a spiral bound book, about 11"x13", filled with black sheets of heavy paper. Attached to the front is a pack of 6 black markers and a pair of 3D glasses. On each page (except for the 3 blank pages at the very back) there is an image already drawn, but you can only see the outline. So the instructions say to take one of the markers, --they're all the exact same, and write with transparent "stuff"-- and trace around the outline of the image. "Bright colors will appear". And they do. Cool, off to a good start. Just for shiggles I put on the 3D glasses, and yep, it's popping off the page. Slightly. Nothing close to the commercial, but like I said, I didn't expect much. So anyway, the next step is to start "coloring" in the areas inside the outline, revealing the 3D image below the black. This is equivalent to taking a quarter to a lottery scratch-it. Initially, it works great, I see lots of pretty colors, the picture underneath seems cool... but then the marker starts to crap out on me. Great. ALREADY?! So I simply rotate the marker to get to a fresh part of the tip... Works for about 3 seconds, then nada. Nice. I'm maybe a third of the way through the first picture and already I have a dead marker. So instead of magically sweeping away the black, to reveal the color beneath, I'm now smearing around the black stuff to create a gooey paste, that does NOT look pretty OR 3D. It looks like shit. Fine. So I grab another marker (remember, there's only 6) and finish "coloring" the picture. The image is revealed, a very "Audrey II"-ish plant, reaching with its tongue for a hamburger -being offered by a wasp or bee or something. Random. It's streaky, sticky, patchy, and far from colorful. I put on the glasses, and only parts of the picture pop out, the rest is still flat on the page. Whatever, it's for kids. It won't be "Coraline" quality, I knew that from the get-go.
So here's my biggest beef... This book comes with 18 pages of "Leap off the page" scenes, for your coloring pleasure. Each page is FILLED to its capacity with some random image or scene or creature, and I'm saying like 90% of each page would need to be colored to reveal anything cool. Hmmm... Let's think about that for a second. There are 18 pages total, with 3 of them blank for my own creativity... I just killed TWO markers coloring the very first page... And there are only SIX markers available. Um... Yeah... Poor design ya think??? I'd have to have like 8 billion more markers if I expect to get all 18 pages to "leap off the page". Not to mention the finished product looks like ass after beans for a week:
I'm usually pretty OCD when it comes to coloring, so all those streaks you see... Not me... The POS markers failing, and the shitty black stuff failing to "disappear"to reveal all the supposed amazing colors. I even tried to write a little love note at the bottom, to show how great the product was, and that took lots of writing over and over and over and over and over just to get it to show up. So that immediately kills any hope I had for the 3 blank pages at the back. BTW anything color you see on that page, was already there. They give no creative freedom at all, it's just grab your quarter and go to town on that scratcher. At least with a scratch-it I'm only out a couple bucks and there's chance to get more money out of it in the end. This just resulted in anger and disappointment.
Back to Toys R Us with you, 'Color Explosion 3D'. I'm stickin with crayons and construction paper.
.......Oh yeah, on a side note: Since I'm bitching about stuff... Got my retainers today. They SUCK. (Rather, ttth*spit*uck)
0 comments:
Post a Comment